Tuesday, March 6, 2012

A Full Heart

I read this in my Jesus Calling devotional yesterday and the words really hit home for me.

Make friends with the problems in your life. Though many things feel random and wrong, remember that I am sovereign over everything. I can fit everything into a pattern for good, but only to the extent that you trust Me. Every problem can teach you something, transforming you little by little into the masterpiece I created you to be. The very same problem can become a stumbling block over which you fall, if you react with distrust and defiance. The choice is up to you, and you will have to choose many times each day whether to trust Me or defy Me.
The best way to befriend your problems is to thank Me for them. This simple act opens your mind to the possibility of benefits flowing from your difficulties. You can even give persistent problems nicknames, helping you to approach them with familiarity rather than with dread. The next step is to introduce them to Me, enabling Me to embrace them in My loving Presence. I will not necessarily remove your problems, but My wisdom is sufficient to bring good out of every one of them.

I look back at the past year and I'm amazed at what God's brought us through. My emergency surgery on my left ovary last March. Discovering our little "surprise" right before the operation. A tough pregnancy with bed rest and progesterone pills. Two deaths in the family (one set of grandparents.) My c-section and recovery. Attempting breastfeeding. Crying, screaming and sleepless nights with Connor for the first 9 weeks. Numerous phone calls and visits to the doctor. X-rays, tests and ultrasounds. Discovering Connor had reflux and a milk allergy. Buying reflux meds and crazy expensive formula (one $40 can every 2 days.) Connor's emergency surgery for his pyloric stenosis. Recovering at home. Sick kids for two weeks. Late-night ER visits. Keeping up with school schedules, homework and school projects. Jacob's out-of-state visitation each month. All while on a tight budget and adjusting to a family of five on our own.

And we survived! Only by the grace of God, people. We never would have gotten through any of this if it weren't for Him.

We may be stressed from time to time. The medical bills may be piling up. But, I'm married to the most hardworking and committed man I know. I have three little ones I adore. And I get to stay home and enjoy them every single day.

I can't imagine anything better than that. My heart is full.

"Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart."
Psalm 37:4 

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